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Brits on top in casual sex league as survey reveals we are the most promiscuous in the world
By Caroline Grant
Last updated at 11:19 PM on 30th November 2008
It is far from an achievement to be proud of - research suggests that British men and women are the most promiscuous in the Western world.
It appears the days when we took a strict moralistic approach towards sex are long gone.
Researchers blamed the situation on a decline of religious scruples, the growth of equal rights for women and a highly sexualised popular culture.
According to a survey, British men and women are among the most promiscuous in the world
They found that when it comes to one-night stands, numbers of partners and attitudes to casual sex, Britain leads the field, ahead of even liberal nations such as the Netherlands and the passionate Italians.
The researchers believe that our place at the top of the table could be linked to the way society has become more tolerant of sexual promiscuity among women as well as men. Women are now as accepting of one-night stands as men, they claimed. The research was led by David Schmitt, a professor of psychology at Bradley University, Illinois.
He said: 'Historically we have repressed women's short-term mating and there are all sorts of double standards out there where men's short-term mating was sort of acceptable but women's wasn't.'
More than 14,000 people in 48 countries were asked to fill in questionnaires where they were quizzed about numbers of partners and one-night stands. Their attitudes were assessed by asking them how many people they expected to sleep with over the next five years and how comfortable they were with the idea of casual sex.
The results of the study were combined with an index of 'sociosexuality' - a measure of how liberal people are when it comes to sex. Most people scored between four and 65, with higher scores showing more liberal approaches. In terms of countries, Finland had the highest rating with an average score of 52 and Taiwan the lowest with just 19.
Britain scored 40, placing it 11th overall, behind countries such as Latvia, Croatia and Slovenia - but it was highest among major Western industrial nations with a population of 10million or more.
The results are part of wider research carried out by Professor Schmitt, who releases this part of his study in this week's edition of New Scientist magazine.
The findings also confirm earlier research showing that the British are more likely than other nationalities to have 'stolen' other people's lovers.
A third of British men are in relationships with women they have taken from other long-term relationships, he found.
Among British women, 28 per cent have apparently poached their other halves rather than formed relationships with single men.
According to the gov't all people over 25 should be dead. To the survivors: According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's probably shouldn't have survived. Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. (Not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.) As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. Horrors! We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing. We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the street lights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. No cell phones. Unthinkable. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then rode down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo 64, X-Boxes, no 99 channels on cable, DVD movies, surround sound, personal cell phones, personal computers, or Internet chat rooms. We had friends! We went outside and found them. We fell out of trees, got cut, and broke bones and teeth, and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms, and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live inside us forever. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's home and knocked on the door, or rang the bell or just walked in and talked to them. Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law. Imagine that! This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all. And you're one of them! Congratulations. Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors?
We all want to know how to do it just right — flirt, that is. It's the vivid image of the slam-dunk, rejection that sends many of us into the kind of social paralysis in which we either impress others as extremely shy or somehow snobby. How can we read the signs and learn how to avoid coming off like an over confident, over zealous, overbearing pest, while not missing out on a real opportunity to connect with a potentially great partner? Find out below how to display and react to them in order to optimize your chances of getting a bit closer to that really hot guy or girl "over there" without going unnoticed, going overboard, or sacrificing an ounce of dignity!
In order to accurately read body language and put out the right signs, the first task you must undertake is to live in the present. That means doing your best to mentally shed your history of rejection or all the times you found yourself asking — "why did he/she break up with me? What's wrong with me?" For purposes of this article, living in the present means accepting that plenty of times we get broken up with for reasons which are completely out of our control. It also means being honest enough with yourself to admit that you're not perfect either. As long as you can mentally strike the balance between self-acceptance and a willingness to always improve and grow — you're ready to play. So you're at a club or a party with your buddies and you're scoping out the crowd. According to Sigmund Freud, we use "unconscious perception" which enables us to quickly gather lots of information about the people around us just by watching them, and decide if we feel a basic attraction for them. We focus in on things like the way they move their bodies, the sound of their voices, how often they laugh or smile, or the way they use give and take in conversation (are they good listeners or conversation "hogs".) And when we're scanning the crowd for a potential mate, our antennae are on full power — we're most likely not going to miss the traits, actions or interpersonal styles which we desire — even when those desires live in our sub-conscious. That's right — you might be very surprised to realize what you're actually attracted to, (but that's another article.) Finally, according to a popular couples therapy style known as Imago Therapy- we are wired to hone in on those who display characteristics which remind us of mom, dad and any other caretaker who had a significant impact on our lives. So while there may be universal "flirting language", who we flirt with and who flirts with us is no accident.
1. Initiating eye contact — This is the opener, especially employed by guys, and really signals interest. The key here is sustained eye-contact and more confident men and women tend to give prolonged stares when they're ready to move in. Regardless of your gender, when you notice someone you think you might like, noticing you, look back. For those of you who are "eye-contact shy" here's a mental exercise which can help. Pretend that you already know this person and have had a good, friendly experience with them. Quickly paste their face onto your old childhood, playground buddy and this will instantly activate the facial muscles used to smile. You should wind up with a "mild smile" and your eyebrows should arch a bit as well. Practice at home in the mirror. Remember, your ability to return a glance also says a lot about your self-confidence; and self-confidence is very attractive, especially to the kind of person you want to attract someone who feels happy with themselves.
2. The Approach — Once eye contact has been established, the two of you need to get close enough to talk, and how this happens says a lot- about both of you. For instance, a beautiful client of mine was approached by a handsome man at a cocktail party. Instead of approaching her eye to eye; face to face; or shoulder to shoulder- sending the message that he was ready to be open, honest and direct, he snuck up behind her and pulled her hair. Cute? Playful? Spontaneous? I think not- try immature and evasive. They went on several dates before he told her that he was married! A confident, experienced man will approach directly, yet not invade your personal space by getting too close too soon. Without using a yardstick here, you will intuitively feel how close is too close. If you make subtle shifts away from him, yet he persists, he's obviously not reading the signs correctly and is possibly too arrogant to accept rejection. As in the example above, expect more of the same on a grander scale if you get involved.
3. The Conversation — Watching two flirters in conversation is like watching two dancers in-synch. They tend to lean in together and pull back at similar times, and if one leans back for a rest he or she can be coaxed back into more "personal", personal space. The visual montage of this conversation includes broad smiles and nodding to the point that you may need a neck massage the day after, laughter, and an overall intense focus on each other as if nobody else existed. Subtle touching is also on the menu here- and I do mean subtle. This could range from an "accidental" brush against a G-rated body part to intentional touching under the guise of something completely benign, (ever had your palm read by a stock broker in a bar? You get it.) Answering the cell phone, while not a serious crime in this day and age, is not exactly the behavior you want to see- especially if it happens repeatedly- a red flag for signs of conflicted feelings, possibility that he/she is a workaholic, too attached to mommy or daddy, or trying to keep too many other potential mates happy. Time to look for a new face to make eye contact with�
4. The Heavy Artillery — Now we're talking subliminal and not so subliminal messages about pure, raw sexuality. There are numerous body parts outside of the obvious which remind us of, and keep our minds on sex. Hair, especially long hair for women, the neck, cleavage, the shoulders, and the mouth. Both women and men will position their bodies in order to highlight these areas. Hair flipping and lip licking are classic. But tilting the head to expose more of the neck, as well as arching the back to emphasize cleavage is also effective. Men sitting with their legs apart and their hands casually resting on their inner thighs are pointing, consciously or not, to their crotch. There's also a lot going on inside. According to scientific research in the area of human sexuality, in addition to universal signs of flirting, there are a number of physiological changes driving romantic interest. For example when a man and woman are sexually attracted to each other the brain releases the neurotransmitters dopamine and norepinephrine. These neurochemicals give us the feeling of optimism, extra energy, and an increased pulse rate.
5. The Goodbye — Again, how this is handled can speak volumes, and balance is the key. A direct and polite request for your phone number is clearly indicative of self-confidence and interest in you as a person, (to be confirmed by an actual call of course). Just goodbye is an ending that may leave things "hanging" and can signal a host of circumstances ranging from, "I'm too nervous to ask for her number," to "I better get home before my girlfriend kills me." If he eventually makes the effort to contact you, consider how it's done creative or stalkeresque? The bottom line here is that if you have the "heebeegeebees" from his efforts to contact you, honor them and move on. Finally, if you like the guy, make it clear that you had a great time whether or not he asks for your number at least you gave each other the opportunity to practice your social skills!
Hero's come in all shape's and sizes. Some can be cockier than others, but all in all we could all use a hero....
But not one like this guy....
ENJOY!
This is actually a great movie if you love B movies! It's name is Feast....
Well, it's really up to you....If you want a long term relationship with the guy, then maybe you should wait until the 3rd date....If you don't really care to have a long term relationship with the guy and he's good enough for just a roll in the hay, then of course, you're an adult! If you want to, than do it! Have a hot one night stand....but remember, there could be consequences if you do choose to do so.
Honestly girls, most guys aren't going to wait around if you're past your 3rd date and still haven't put out yet. I mean, they might take you on more dates, and they might even really like you! But, they're gonna find someone else to sleep with on the side if you're not putting out. Hey, I've talked to plenty of men about this and this is what they tell me. Maybe you'll get lucky, and the guy will be a one of a kind and put up with your morals and values as a woman and actually wait until you're married.....uh huh. You just keep thinking that k....OK, bye bye now!
Seriously though...most men think with their other brain a majority of the time when it comes to women and they love to release. So whether it be with you or with the other little hottie over there, it's all up to you in the end. Remember, even if a man is married, if he's not getting it from his wife, he's gonna find it somewhere else. He might not actively look for it, but if temptation finds him, he's more than likely going to go with temptation.
My motto is; always treat your body like a temple. If he's not good enough to come to the alter, then why would you let him in the church doors?
When you first walk into that room hold your head high and walk with confidence! Look every man and woman in the eye and smile at them, what ever your sex.
Don't shy off into a corner and become invisible. Hey, you just walked in with confidence and he, or she, is your date for the night. If you get lucky, it's gonna be a threesome because confidence better go into that bedroom right along with you.
If you're at a bar, order a drink with confidence! Know what you want before you go into that bar. Not only will the bartender be impressed, but so will confidence. Just ordering that drink and sounding like you know it, will impress the hell out of a bartender and yourself! Trust me. Maybe that bartender is your lucky #, maybe not. But I guarantee he, or she, will remember what you are drinking next time you order, or the next time, if you're lucky, someone order's a drink for you!
Where ever you are, always go with confidence. Confidence is your new best friend, hell, it's your bitch! You make it stay with you where ever you go in life and you'll get far!!
Face It....CONFIDENCE IS SEXY!!!!!!!
I was talking with my mate this morning and we were having a discussion on people not being able to say what they really feel because they might hurt someone else's feelings. On these blogs for instance, we should be able to comment on peoples personal blogs without judgement. You are posting something for your "neighborhood" to read. You're posting your feelings or idea's, etc., on a public forum, and people are going to comment their feelings about what you've written whether they agree with you or not!
Well, frankly I'm tired of not being able to say what I feel, and if you know me, you know that I have never have really been a part of it! I say what I feel, but of course I know when to say it. Now I might sound like a crotchety old woman, but I really don't care. I'm going to say what I feel, and if I don't like what you have to say, I'm going to tell you. I hope that you can do the same for me!
We need to quit worrying so much about hurting people's feelings when they are doing something that is ridiculous or mean. We need to, as a country and as individual's, start standing up for what we believe and what we know is right.
I am for the Constitution of the United States! Free speech! The Right To Bare Arms, etc....If my government takes that away from me (us) becuase you were all to scared to take a stand, I'm gonna be one pissed off crotchity old bitch and you better watch out! Cause then I'll have a lot to say about you!
....a while later.....I was pissed off at something when I wrote this ok!
Jealousy among women is nothing new. The first caveman to look at another woman probably got hit over the head with a club by his partner. Jealousy among women can create many kinds of problems on the job and in the neighborhood. You can even see jealousy among women in nature—female animals will often fight with other females over a male of interest.
What causes jealousy?
It is important to
understand the difference between jealousy and envy. The two are
closely related, but jealousy refers to the insecurities experienced
when a person feels a partner may be attracted to someone else. Envy
among women refers to an obsessive desire for what someone else has.
For example, this can occur if a woman feels a neighbor or friend has a
perfect boyfriend or husband, and she wishes she could have that
situation. However, fearing for your own relationship, spouse, or partner can create feelings of jealousy.
Jealousy among women is much more dangerous than envy. Jealousy usually stems from feeling something within a person’s life is being seduced or solicited by someone else. Often, jealousy is unfounded and can be very damaging to both partners in a relationship. Feelings of jealousy cause a person to create an untrusting and even abusive relationship, sometimes leading to domestic violence or a breakup. Here are five steps to help you avoid jealousy among women.
Step One: Communicate Honestly
Jealousy among women is
usually identified when a girl feels threatened by another woman who
may be trying to take away a significant other. The best way to put
such fears to rest in this situation is to talk with a partner about
these feelings. Most women feel insecure for no or little reason!
Boyfriends and husbands may have no idea that their girlfriends and
wives are feeling jealous, and they can offer more attention when they
know their mate may be feeling jealous. By discussing jealousy issues,
the couple can learn to work through each partner’s insecurities and
build trust so they can feel comfortable around other people and secure
in their relationship.
When a spouse feels jealous about a particular individual, like a best friend or coworker, this is also a good time to talk about it. While it’s understandable to feel a little uneasy in the presence of a gorgeous model-type or someone who’s 20 pounds lighter or four inches taller, it is important for a couple to devote themselves to each other and understand the nature of other friendships that may involve members of the opposite sex. Some people need a gentle reminder to pay attention to the spouse at their side rather than flirt with an attractive woman at a party or linger over coffee with a business associate. Honestly sharing concerns about others that stir jealous feelings can help both partners in a relationship to deal with negative feelings and to pay more attention to each other.
Step Two: Spend Quality Time with Your Mate
Jealousy among women often is most common when a relationship is new. Although many brides-to-be may still confront jealousy, it is at the
beginning of a relationship when partners stand the greatest chance of
losing a favorite date or friend. Instead of letting your beloved slip
away, get creative with jealousy. If a spouse is spending too much time
with other women, suggest ways that the two of you can enjoy quality
time focusing on each other over romantic dinners, at special events, or while enjoying a relaxing weekend getaway.
This does not mean that a spouse cannot spend time with other trustworthy people. A good compromise is to join a boyfriend or husband when he’s spending time with old friends, former flames, or business colleagues. Your presence when he would otherwise be alone with a woman that he might find attractive is key to helping you get over your jealousy and helping him stay focused on you.
Step Three: Ask Questions
Jealousy
among women often causes us to do things that we wouldn’t normally do,
including peeking into a boyfriend’s wallet or checking a spouse’s
online emails. Sometimes, though, it may be a good idea to keep tabs on
your significant other’s extracurricular activities that don’t include
you. Early in a relationship, this may involve a few simple questions:
--Do you have any plans this weekend?
--How do you feel about exclusive dating relationships?
These can open the door to meaningful exchanges about the couple’s views of a healthy dating relationship. Later, however, you may need to watch for clues that can guide your steps toward understanding whether your jealousy is well founded or not. If your male companion makes frequent excuses for not spending time with you or hedges about becoming exclusive, there’s a good chance he wants to date others, too. If he skirts questions about a particular woman, such as a coworker or neighbor, this may be an indication of his interest in or involvement with her.
If a woman happens to contact you about your boyfriend or husband on matters of business or for old time’s sake, you will want to maintain emotional control and ask simple but direct questions about her connection to your partner. Even if their acquaintance is impersonal or casual, talking to her may help you to feel less jealous as you learn the facts rather than rely on suspicions. Jealousy among women stems from the unknown, so if you get to know the other women in your boyfriend or husband’s life, your irrational jealousy might disappear.
Step Four: Conquer all Jealousy
Jealousy among women isn’t
just about other women. Jealous feelings may stem from the fact that a
mate spends more time on other interests than he does the relationship.
It could be hobby that is cutting into your time together. Maybe he
spends more time with friends golfing or bowling than evenings spent
with you. It could be he works long hours and it’s hard to see one
another. Jealousy among women can go hand and hand with any situation
that seems to threaten your relationship. Most jealous people are
unhappy, so it is important to get a handle on it promptly.
Sometimes jealousy among women isn’t even about a significant other. For example, if you have a manager position at work and suddenly a new woman is hired who becomes the boss’s pet, you may feel threatened that you’ll be demoted and she’ll take your place. You also may start feeling jealous if your best friend talks non-stop about how much fun she enjoys with another friend. Some women feel jealous when a parent seems to favor a sibling.
To have healthy
relationships, it is important to work through all jealousy issues by
admitting there is a problem and taking steps to deal with it. Jealousy
among women is a common part of many women’s lives, so don’t
worry—you’re normal! However, if you don’t work through the negative
feelings associated with jealousy, you may find that it begins to
consume you. Unhealthy jealousy can end relationships quickly, so if
threatened by others, do something about it by analyzing the source of
these feelings or making an appointment with a professional counselor.
How to pick up older women? I am sure you must have thought about this if you are in to women who are older than you. Why do you think many younger men prefer to date and seduce older and more mature women? Some of the reasons why younger men prefer older women, and what you can do to attract and seduce them, are:
Older women are more responsible
They have more experience than younger women and this makes them responsible beings. If you want to seduce an older woman then you should also show a sense of responsibility. Older women do not like men who are not responsible. Irresponsible men are a turn off for older women. If you do not want the older woman to dislike you then show her that you are a responsible person.
Most of the older women are more interesting than the younger women
Younger women have little or absolutely no idea about the attitude or behavior that they should have in order to make themselves attractive. Older women, on the other hand, have a strong sense of identity and they also have stronger sex drive as compared to younger women. They can go for a guy without much hesitation. In order to seduce her, you will need to make her feel wanted. You should show and tell her that you are attracted to her so that she would know. If she is also attracted to you then you can very easily seduce her.
Older women know that it is not easy to find men whom they are attracted to
So they would treat the guy, which they like, with courtesy and great care. If you are attracted to a woman who is older than you then make her feel special. They are only genuinely interested in men who make them feel special and if you do make them feel special then you are on your way to seducing her. It has been found that older women would not be interested in being seduced by men whom they don't find special. So make her feel special if you want to seduce her. Also, remember, older women don't usually want a serious relationship with a younger man, they usually want a "Boy Toy" to play with. So if you are looking for a long term relationship with an older woman, chance's are it's probably not going to happen. Dating for a while, but not forever, is preferred for most older women.
Older women are in to guys who are mature and serious
They are not looking for younger men because they want to date boys. They are looking for mature men in the body of a young man. The way you dress and they way you behave is extremely important.
If you want to pick up older women then you need to dress and act like a real man. Do not make yourself look like an inexperienced or immature person in front of the woman that you like. This will not help you at all. You can find out some of the funniest pick up lines so that you can attract her without getting ashamed or rejected. First impression is usually very important so make sure that you impress her when you meet her for the first time.
It's good to see you all back and posting once again. It's been a while for me as well. I think since July? Well I took 1/2 the summer off to concentrate on other things, and now I'm back to keep you all entertained once again!
I'll post soon another rant or maybe even some logic about sex and relationships!
See You Soon!!!
Kitty