10 posts tagged “relationships”
Brits on top in casual sex league as survey reveals we are the most promiscuous in the world
By Caroline Grant
Last updated at 11:19 PM on 30th November 2008
It is far from an achievement to be proud of - research suggests that British men and women are the most promiscuous in the Western world.
It appears the days when we took a strict moralistic approach towards sex are long gone.
Researchers blamed the situation on a decline of religious scruples, the growth of equal rights for women and a highly sexualised popular culture.
According to a survey, British men and women are among the most promiscuous in the world
They found that when it comes to one-night stands, numbers of partners and attitudes to casual sex, Britain leads the field, ahead of even liberal nations such as the Netherlands and the passionate Italians.
The researchers believe that our place at the top of the table could be linked to the way society has become more tolerant of sexual promiscuity among women as well as men. Women are now as accepting of one-night stands as men, they claimed. The research was led by David Schmitt, a professor of psychology at Bradley University, Illinois.
He said: 'Historically we have repressed women's short-term mating and there are all sorts of double standards out there where men's short-term mating was sort of acceptable but women's wasn't.'
More than 14,000 people in 48 countries were asked to fill in questionnaires where they were quizzed about numbers of partners and one-night stands. Their attitudes were assessed by asking them how many people they expected to sleep with over the next five years and how comfortable they were with the idea of casual sex.
The results of the study were combined with an index of 'sociosexuality' - a measure of how liberal people are when it comes to sex. Most people scored between four and 65, with higher scores showing more liberal approaches. In terms of countries, Finland had the highest rating with an average score of 52 and Taiwan the lowest with just 19.
Britain scored 40, placing it 11th overall, behind countries such as Latvia, Croatia and Slovenia - but it was highest among major Western industrial nations with a population of 10million or more.
The results are part of wider research carried out by Professor Schmitt, who releases this part of his study in this week's edition of New Scientist magazine.
The findings also confirm earlier research showing that the British are more likely than other nationalities to have 'stolen' other people's lovers.
A third of British men are in relationships with women they have taken from other long-term relationships, he found.
Among British women, 28 per cent have apparently poached their other halves rather than formed relationships with single men.
We all want to know how to do it just right — flirt, that is. It's the vivid image of the slam-dunk, rejection that sends many of us into the kind of social paralysis in which we either impress others as extremely shy or somehow snobby. How can we read the signs and learn how to avoid coming off like an over confident, over zealous, overbearing pest, while not missing out on a real opportunity to connect with a potentially great partner? Find out below how to display and react to them in order to optimize your chances of getting a bit closer to that really hot guy or girl "over there" without going unnoticed, going overboard, or sacrificing an ounce of dignity!
In order to accurately read body language and put out the right signs, the first task you must undertake is to live in the present. That means doing your best to mentally shed your history of rejection or all the times you found yourself asking — "why did he/she break up with me? What's wrong with me?" For purposes of this article, living in the present means accepting that plenty of times we get broken up with for reasons which are completely out of our control. It also means being honest enough with yourself to admit that you're not perfect either. As long as you can mentally strike the balance between self-acceptance and a willingness to always improve and grow — you're ready to play. So you're at a club or a party with your buddies and you're scoping out the crowd. According to Sigmund Freud, we use "unconscious perception" which enables us to quickly gather lots of information about the people around us just by watching them, and decide if we feel a basic attraction for them. We focus in on things like the way they move their bodies, the sound of their voices, how often they laugh or smile, or the way they use give and take in conversation (are they good listeners or conversation "hogs".) And when we're scanning the crowd for a potential mate, our antennae are on full power — we're most likely not going to miss the traits, actions or interpersonal styles which we desire — even when those desires live in our sub-conscious. That's right — you might be very surprised to realize what you're actually attracted to, (but that's another article.) Finally, according to a popular couples therapy style known as Imago Therapy- we are wired to hone in on those who display characteristics which remind us of mom, dad and any other caretaker who had a significant impact on our lives. So while there may be universal "flirting language", who we flirt with and who flirts with us is no accident.
1. Initiating eye contact — This is the opener, especially employed by guys, and really signals interest. The key here is sustained eye-contact and more confident men and women tend to give prolonged stares when they're ready to move in. Regardless of your gender, when you notice someone you think you might like, noticing you, look back. For those of you who are "eye-contact shy" here's a mental exercise which can help. Pretend that you already know this person and have had a good, friendly experience with them. Quickly paste their face onto your old childhood, playground buddy and this will instantly activate the facial muscles used to smile. You should wind up with a "mild smile" and your eyebrows should arch a bit as well. Practice at home in the mirror. Remember, your ability to return a glance also says a lot about your self-confidence; and self-confidence is very attractive, especially to the kind of person you want to attract someone who feels happy with themselves.
2. The Approach — Once eye contact has been established, the two of you need to get close enough to talk, and how this happens says a lot- about both of you. For instance, a beautiful client of mine was approached by a handsome man at a cocktail party. Instead of approaching her eye to eye; face to face; or shoulder to shoulder- sending the message that he was ready to be open, honest and direct, he snuck up behind her and pulled her hair. Cute? Playful? Spontaneous? I think not- try immature and evasive. They went on several dates before he told her that he was married! A confident, experienced man will approach directly, yet not invade your personal space by getting too close too soon. Without using a yardstick here, you will intuitively feel how close is too close. If you make subtle shifts away from him, yet he persists, he's obviously not reading the signs correctly and is possibly too arrogant to accept rejection. As in the example above, expect more of the same on a grander scale if you get involved.
3. The Conversation — Watching two flirters in conversation is like watching two dancers in-synch. They tend to lean in together and pull back at similar times, and if one leans back for a rest he or she can be coaxed back into more "personal", personal space. The visual montage of this conversation includes broad smiles and nodding to the point that you may need a neck massage the day after, laughter, and an overall intense focus on each other as if nobody else existed. Subtle touching is also on the menu here- and I do mean subtle. This could range from an "accidental" brush against a G-rated body part to intentional touching under the guise of something completely benign, (ever had your palm read by a stock broker in a bar? You get it.) Answering the cell phone, while not a serious crime in this day and age, is not exactly the behavior you want to see- especially if it happens repeatedly- a red flag for signs of conflicted feelings, possibility that he/she is a workaholic, too attached to mommy or daddy, or trying to keep too many other potential mates happy. Time to look for a new face to make eye contact with�
4. The Heavy Artillery — Now we're talking subliminal and not so subliminal messages about pure, raw sexuality. There are numerous body parts outside of the obvious which remind us of, and keep our minds on sex. Hair, especially long hair for women, the neck, cleavage, the shoulders, and the mouth. Both women and men will position their bodies in order to highlight these areas. Hair flipping and lip licking are classic. But tilting the head to expose more of the neck, as well as arching the back to emphasize cleavage is also effective. Men sitting with their legs apart and their hands casually resting on their inner thighs are pointing, consciously or not, to their crotch. There's also a lot going on inside. According to scientific research in the area of human sexuality, in addition to universal signs of flirting, there are a number of physiological changes driving romantic interest. For example when a man and woman are sexually attracted to each other the brain releases the neurotransmitters dopamine and norepinephrine. These neurochemicals give us the feeling of optimism, extra energy, and an increased pulse rate.
5. The Goodbye — Again, how this is handled can speak volumes, and balance is the key. A direct and polite request for your phone number is clearly indicative of self-confidence and interest in you as a person, (to be confirmed by an actual call of course). Just goodbye is an ending that may leave things "hanging" and can signal a host of circumstances ranging from, "I'm too nervous to ask for her number," to "I better get home before my girlfriend kills me." If he eventually makes the effort to contact you, consider how it's done creative or stalkeresque? The bottom line here is that if you have the "heebeegeebees" from his efforts to contact you, honor them and move on. Finally, if you like the guy, make it clear that you had a great time whether or not he asks for your number at least you gave each other the opportunity to practice your social skills!
Well, it's really up to you....If you want a long term relationship with the guy, then maybe you should wait until the 3rd date....If you don't really care to have a long term relationship with the guy and he's good enough for just a roll in the hay, then of course, you're an adult! If you want to, than do it! Have a hot one night stand....but remember, there could be consequences if you do choose to do so.
Honestly girls, most guys aren't going to wait around if you're past your 3rd date and still haven't put out yet. I mean, they might take you on more dates, and they might even really like you! But, they're gonna find someone else to sleep with on the side if you're not putting out. Hey, I've talked to plenty of men about this and this is what they tell me. Maybe you'll get lucky, and the guy will be a one of a kind and put up with your morals and values as a woman and actually wait until you're married.....uh huh. You just keep thinking that k....OK, bye bye now!
Seriously though...most men think with their other brain a majority of the time when it comes to women and they love to release. So whether it be with you or with the other little hottie over there, it's all up to you in the end. Remember, even if a man is married, if he's not getting it from his wife, he's gonna find it somewhere else. He might not actively look for it, but if temptation finds him, he's more than likely going to go with temptation.
My motto is; always treat your body like a temple. If he's not good enough to come to the alter, then why would you let him in the church doors?
When you first walk into that room hold your head high and walk with confidence! Look every man and woman in the eye and smile at them, what ever your sex.
Don't shy off into a corner and become invisible. Hey, you just walked in with confidence and he, or she, is your date for the night. If you get lucky, it's gonna be a threesome because confidence better go into that bedroom right along with you.
If you're at a bar, order a drink with confidence! Know what you want before you go into that bar. Not only will the bartender be impressed, but so will confidence. Just ordering that drink and sounding like you know it, will impress the hell out of a bartender and yourself! Trust me. Maybe that bartender is your lucky #, maybe not. But I guarantee he, or she, will remember what you are drinking next time you order, or the next time, if you're lucky, someone order's a drink for you!
Where ever you are, always go with confidence. Confidence is your new best friend, hell, it's your bitch! You make it stay with you where ever you go in life and you'll get far!!
Face It....CONFIDENCE IS SEXY!!!!!!!
Jealousy among women is nothing new. The first caveman to look at another woman probably got hit over the head with a club by his partner. Jealousy among women can create many kinds of problems on the job and in the neighborhood. You can even see jealousy among women in nature—female animals will often fight with other females over a male of interest.
What causes jealousy?
It is important to
understand the difference between jealousy and envy. The two are
closely related, but jealousy refers to the insecurities experienced
when a person feels a partner may be attracted to someone else. Envy
among women refers to an obsessive desire for what someone else has.
For example, this can occur if a woman feels a neighbor or friend has a
perfect boyfriend or husband, and she wishes she could have that
situation. However, fearing for your own relationship, spouse, or partner can create feelings of jealousy.
Jealousy among women is much more dangerous than envy. Jealousy usually stems from feeling something within a person’s life is being seduced or solicited by someone else. Often, jealousy is unfounded and can be very damaging to both partners in a relationship. Feelings of jealousy cause a person to create an untrusting and even abusive relationship, sometimes leading to domestic violence or a breakup. Here are five steps to help you avoid jealousy among women.
Step One: Communicate Honestly
Jealousy among women is
usually identified when a girl feels threatened by another woman who
may be trying to take away a significant other. The best way to put
such fears to rest in this situation is to talk with a partner about
these feelings. Most women feel insecure for no or little reason!
Boyfriends and husbands may have no idea that their girlfriends and
wives are feeling jealous, and they can offer more attention when they
know their mate may be feeling jealous. By discussing jealousy issues,
the couple can learn to work through each partner’s insecurities and
build trust so they can feel comfortable around other people and secure
in their relationship.
When a spouse feels jealous about a particular individual, like a best friend or coworker, this is also a good time to talk about it. While it’s understandable to feel a little uneasy in the presence of a gorgeous model-type or someone who’s 20 pounds lighter or four inches taller, it is important for a couple to devote themselves to each other and understand the nature of other friendships that may involve members of the opposite sex. Some people need a gentle reminder to pay attention to the spouse at their side rather than flirt with an attractive woman at a party or linger over coffee with a business associate. Honestly sharing concerns about others that stir jealous feelings can help both partners in a relationship to deal with negative feelings and to pay more attention to each other.
Step Two: Spend Quality Time with Your Mate
Jealousy among women often is most common when a relationship is new. Although many brides-to-be may still confront jealousy, it is at the
beginning of a relationship when partners stand the greatest chance of
losing a favorite date or friend. Instead of letting your beloved slip
away, get creative with jealousy. If a spouse is spending too much time
with other women, suggest ways that the two of you can enjoy quality
time focusing on each other over romantic dinners, at special events, or while enjoying a relaxing weekend getaway.
This does not mean that a spouse cannot spend time with other trustworthy people. A good compromise is to join a boyfriend or husband when he’s spending time with old friends, former flames, or business colleagues. Your presence when he would otherwise be alone with a woman that he might find attractive is key to helping you get over your jealousy and helping him stay focused on you.
Step Three: Ask Questions
Jealousy
among women often causes us to do things that we wouldn’t normally do,
including peeking into a boyfriend’s wallet or checking a spouse’s
online emails. Sometimes, though, it may be a good idea to keep tabs on
your significant other’s extracurricular activities that don’t include
you. Early in a relationship, this may involve a few simple questions:
--Do you have any plans this weekend?
--How do you feel about exclusive dating relationships?
These can open the door to meaningful exchanges about the couple’s views of a healthy dating relationship. Later, however, you may need to watch for clues that can guide your steps toward understanding whether your jealousy is well founded or not. If your male companion makes frequent excuses for not spending time with you or hedges about becoming exclusive, there’s a good chance he wants to date others, too. If he skirts questions about a particular woman, such as a coworker or neighbor, this may be an indication of his interest in or involvement with her.
If a woman happens to contact you about your boyfriend or husband on matters of business or for old time’s sake, you will want to maintain emotional control and ask simple but direct questions about her connection to your partner. Even if their acquaintance is impersonal or casual, talking to her may help you to feel less jealous as you learn the facts rather than rely on suspicions. Jealousy among women stems from the unknown, so if you get to know the other women in your boyfriend or husband’s life, your irrational jealousy might disappear.
Step Four: Conquer all Jealousy
Jealousy among women isn’t
just about other women. Jealous feelings may stem from the fact that a
mate spends more time on other interests than he does the relationship.
It could be hobby that is cutting into your time together. Maybe he
spends more time with friends golfing or bowling than evenings spent
with you. It could be he works long hours and it’s hard to see one
another. Jealousy among women can go hand and hand with any situation
that seems to threaten your relationship. Most jealous people are
unhappy, so it is important to get a handle on it promptly.
Sometimes jealousy among women isn’t even about a significant other. For example, if you have a manager position at work and suddenly a new woman is hired who becomes the boss’s pet, you may feel threatened that you’ll be demoted and she’ll take your place. You also may start feeling jealous if your best friend talks non-stop about how much fun she enjoys with another friend. Some women feel jealous when a parent seems to favor a sibling.
To have healthy
relationships, it is important to work through all jealousy issues by
admitting there is a problem and taking steps to deal with it. Jealousy
among women is a common part of many women’s lives, so don’t
worry—you’re normal! However, if you don’t work through the negative
feelings associated with jealousy, you may find that it begins to
consume you. Unhealthy jealousy can end relationships quickly, so if
threatened by others, do something about it by analyzing the source of
these feelings or making an appointment with a professional counselor.
How to pick up older women? I am sure you must have thought about this if you are in to women who are older than you. Why do you think many younger men prefer to date and seduce older and more mature women? Some of the reasons why younger men prefer older women, and what you can do to attract and seduce them, are:
Older women are more responsible
They have more experience than younger women and this makes them responsible beings. If you want to seduce an older woman then you should also show a sense of responsibility. Older women do not like men who are not responsible. Irresponsible men are a turn off for older women. If you do not want the older woman to dislike you then show her that you are a responsible person.
Most of the older women are more interesting than the younger women
Younger women have little or absolutely no idea about the attitude or behavior that they should have in order to make themselves attractive. Older women, on the other hand, have a strong sense of identity and they also have stronger sex drive as compared to younger women. They can go for a guy without much hesitation. In order to seduce her, you will need to make her feel wanted. You should show and tell her that you are attracted to her so that she would know. If she is also attracted to you then you can very easily seduce her.
Older women know that it is not easy to find men whom they are attracted to
So they would treat the guy, which they like, with courtesy and great care. If you are attracted to a woman who is older than you then make her feel special. They are only genuinely interested in men who make them feel special and if you do make them feel special then you are on your way to seducing her. It has been found that older women would not be interested in being seduced by men whom they don't find special. So make her feel special if you want to seduce her. Also, remember, older women don't usually want a serious relationship with a younger man, they usually want a "Boy Toy" to play with. So if you are looking for a long term relationship with an older woman, chance's are it's probably not going to happen. Dating for a while, but not forever, is preferred for most older women.
Older women are in to guys who are mature and serious
They are not looking for younger men because they want to date boys. They are looking for mature men in the body of a young man. The way you dress and they way you behave is extremely important.
If you want to pick up older women then you need to dress and act like a real man. Do not make yourself look like an inexperienced or immature person in front of the woman that you like. This will not help you at all. You can find out some of the funniest pick up lines so that you can attract her without getting ashamed or rejected. First impression is usually very important so make sure that you impress her when you meet her for the first time.
It's good to see you all back and posting once again. It's been a while for me as well. I think since July? Well I took 1/2 the summer off to concentrate on other things, and now I'm back to keep you all entertained once again!
I'll post soon another rant or maybe even some logic about sex and relationships!
See You Soon!!!
Kitty
Must see movie!
It made me think about my romantic relationship a lot!
I am the luckiest woman alive! If something was to happen to my partner, I of course would be devastated, but I would be able to live on knowing that I had that kind of love in my life at one time! We should all be so lucky.
My partner is my best friend. He has shown me that love does exist and that all men are not bad. I was scared of change before I met him and he has pushed me to change because he knew that it would make me a better person. A stronger person.
I am a better person because of him......
I thank him. I love him.
Thank you baby!
We hear about it and see it on TV talk shows like Oprah & Dr. Phil. We just hope it never happens to us. Cheating in a relationship is devastating and usually leaves permanent emotional scars if it doesn't end the relationship. Unfortunately most don't know about the cheating until they are told about it by a friend or relative. Here are some definite signs that by themselves may not be indicative of cheating, but together should send off warning signals that something is amiss. Recognizing cheating early on can save oneself from much heartache and trouble.
A sudden increase in late night work and travel could indicate cheating. It may just be innocent and maybe they have a new boss, demanding new clients, or a new demanding project. Communication is key here, if you have any doubts call them. If you can't reach them, they make lots of excuses or they won't take your calls then a flag should go up. Midnight or midday rendezvous are not inductive to a good relationship and they cannot hide it forever.
A sudden decrease in sex drive could mean they are having it with someone else. A temporary reduction in sex drive could just be related to increased stress or job duties. It could also indicate medical problems that should be referred to a doctor. But, a sudden decrease in sex drive equipped with sudden late night work at the office, etc. probably means something is going on.
A marked defensiveness and new irritability expressed towards you. This could be your lover trying to hide their cheating by them throwing it back at you. "Why would you even ask or think that? You should trust me like I do you. Maybe you are the one having an affair. Where were you last night?" A new unforeseen defensiveness in itself is a strong indicator of cheating. What do they have to be so defensive about?
Also the opposite of this defensiveness could indicate cheating. Is your partner all of a sudden being extremely nice. Are they buying you romantic gifts, cards, etc... for no apparent reason. Is this way out of the norm for them? They may be going through guilt. They may feel guilty for what they have done and are trying to console their feelings in this way. As seen on the Dr. Phil show, this is a high indicator that cheating has occurred. 95% of partners that have cheated experience feelings of guilt and will be extra nice to their spouse after the cheating has occurred.
There are other indicators like phone calls with no message and hang-ups, password protected emails and computers that weren't protected before, etc... These are all indicative of a potential cheater. Any one item could be circumstance, but the more indicators that occur, the more likely some cheating is going on.
All in all, If you highly suspect that your partner is cheating, then maybe you should start making plans to be on your own. Also, If you can't trust your partner, maybe you shouldn't be in the relationship to begin with. You will need to find out though before you take that final step, hire a PI, or be your own PI. Whatever it takes, but find out first. You wouldn't want to be wrong and loose a great relationship. Oh, and if you keep having fantasies that your partner is cheating and they aren't, maybe you should get some help as well.
OK men, I see it all the time. You, walking behind your woman at the store. You, putting up with the way she is putting you down in public. What is wrong with YOU? In a society that has been, in some part, ruined by feminist's I see the man becoming a pussy more and more.
When I see a woman demeaning a man I just want to walk up to him and say, "are you really going to take that from her you pussy?" OK, so I'm being harsh here, but grow some balls! Why don't you tell her to "shut the hell up and start respecting you" instead of just taking it and going on with your miserable life.
Oh and don't think that you feminist are going to get away so fast! You have ruined it for the rest of us women who believe that good old fashioned morals should come to play when it comes to a relationship.
Men don't hardly every hold the door open for us anymore. If they do it's because they are usually older and were brought up with good values. They don't open the car door for us either let alone unlock the door. Oh, and don't forget about pulling our chair out for us. What about men who expect us to put out on the first date? So many young women are putting out now that it's like the men expect that we all will. It's because we should be "free with our bodies" isn't it you feminazi's?
I want a man who holds the door open, who pulls my chair out for me, who unlocks and opens the car door for me, and who respects me enough to ask if he may kiss me on our first date and if I don't let him kiss me, then by God be a man and respectfully back down. Don't be a dick and start throwing your little boy tantrum!
You women who are bitch's to your man. Knock it off before he knocks you off. Respect your man. Respect the fact that he works hard for you and your family. Be glad that he is still there for you and your kids. Figure out why you are so unhappy that you have to make his life unhappy too before he goes and finds someone that will make him feel happy, alive, and most of all respected! You, get some therapy!
Feminist! Shut the hell up if you wonder why men aren't as respectful to you as they once used to be once upon a time. Quit whining. Maybe you should take a look at how much more life is unfair to women now then it ever used to be. At least men treated women with dignity back in the day. Today because of the feminist movement we have women who don't respect themselves and allow themselves to be treated like common whores.
I want the old ways to come back. I want to treat my man like he is everything to me. I want to cook for him, clean for him, rub his back when it hurts. Give it to him whenever he wants and take it whenever I can. I want my man to be pampered and know that I love him. Oh wait.....I do this! Guess what? My man is one satisfied individual baby!
My Groups
-
The Thinking Woman Updated: 24 minutes ago
-
Girly Girls Updated: 8 hours ago
Neighborhood
Explore friends, family, friends & family, or entire neighborhood.
